Ahhh my favorite month,
Halloween, I mean, October. But fo reelz, I know I’ve already written my little post about the amazing-ness that is this month. And as you remember(because I’m sure you’ve already read that post, rriiiggghhht?) one of my favorite things about this month are all the scary movies.
I mean, they’re just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good!! But I’m sure we’ve all noticed that people just don’t make scary movies like they used to. I mean, what can possibly hold a candle next to films like, The Exorcist or Halloween?
But logic would have it that with such advancement in technology that making a scary movie would be even easier now, but alas, I think I discovered why scary movies suck nowadays.
PEOPLE ARE SO DAMN STUPID.
Sorry, not sorry, for the language.
But seriously, how idiotic can the human race get?
Like, people who come into my store with a $20 off coupon- get a top that’s $15.99, I tell them I can’t owe them money.
“Oh, that’s okay. You don’t need to give me change back.”
No, you moron.
I. Can’t. Owe. You. Money.
In what universe is it okay to try to use a coupon where your purchase doesn’t equal the amount you’re trying to get off from the coupon? How are you still alive?
People are dumb.
And Hollywood knows this.
This became very clear to me when I went to go see the new ‘scary’ movie this year, Annabelle.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there were parts of this movie that made me a little jumpy. Just because of the freaking music they add, I swear. Like, talk about ‘fake scare.’ Making me scared of loud noises instead of what’s actually happening to the people, but whatever.
Anyway, the story of Annabelle is that it’s this girl in the 60s or 70s(don’t remember) around the time of the Manson Murders, so cults were becoming the big issue. Anyway, Annabelle apparently had joined a cult, had a boyfriend, she and the boyfriend went to go kill her old neighbors(the main characters) as a sacrifice or something to Satan or some demon, she gets herself killed, but not before she somehow got her spirit attached to some creepy-ass doll.
So as the movie progresses creepy things start happening to this little family Annabelle had tried to kill and turns out the demon wants the baby’s soul.
Sure demons are creepy, but the way this movie was presented wasn’t scary, wanna know why? BECAUSE THEY SHOW THE FREAKING DEMON!
YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES DEMONS SCARY? THE FACT YOU CAN’T SEE THEM!
You know, because demons are spirits that were never and will never be able to have bodies…..so you shouldn’t be able to see them.
But this freaking movie shows it. Like, heeellooooo.
But I don’t blame the director of the movie- because I know that he felt he had to show the demon to make it scary, otherwise the general public would be too flippin’ stupid to realize what was happening.
For example, there is a part in the movie where the cursed doll, Annabelle, starts floating in the air. That should be creepy enough, right? I mean, dolls aren’t supposed to float, at least that I’m aware of.
But as the camera pans closer and closer to the doll and what you finally see is the head of the demon and that he was the one to lift the doll.
Oh wait, I know why, it’s because you know you would hear some imbecile in the theater going,
‘WAIT, WHY IS THE DOLL FLOATING? I DON’T GET IT.’
See, what makes a scary movie truly scary is that it ends up being more of your imagination that gets you to freak out more than the actual movie itself.
*Warning: Spoilers ahead*
For those who’ve been living under a rock, The Exorcist is a movie about a little girl named Reagan who gets possessed by a demon, seemingly Satan, and two priest come together to perform an exorcism on the little girl.
Now, obviously throughout the movie there is plenty, visually, to freak/gross out/shock a person.
Reagan’s head turning 360 degrees, the deep demonic voice that she attributes, oh, and of coarse her puking up some nice green slime.
*fun fact- they used split pea soup for the puke*
But the reason this movie is truly horrifying is because you never know FOR CERTAIN what the heck is happening. Like, sure the demon says it’s the devil, but HOW DO YOU REALLY KNOW?!
Plus, it’s like, HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?! You don’t ever SEE her get possessed or whatever, you just see the result of it. Plus, for skeptics it’s like, “oh she could just have a mental issue going on-” (which they test for in the movie, of coarse)
But you never actually SEE anything that causes the behavior. It just happens.
Ahhhh The Ring is a newer horror film that actually did a pretty good job. Granted, I was 9 or 10, I think, when I first saw this movie, but it truly terrified me.
So The Ring is essentially about a journalist who investigates the deaths of 4 teenagers after they all die exactly a week after watching a videotape.
Well, it ends up being this little girl, Samara, who was just pure evil, and in so being was killed by her mother by being pushed down a well.
I don’t quite remember how the videotape happened, but basically the little girl used it so that when people watched it they’d receive a phone call telling them they had 7 days and 7 days later-
Now, here is what’s different about this scary movie, they do show things, BUT they do it so quickly, that your brain starts making up scarier details in your imagination than what’s actually there.
If that makes any sense.
For instance, they show the dead bodies of the characters that watched the tape and then were killed 7 days later by Samara. But they only show the bodies for a split second.
So ya, the bodies don’t look good anyway, but by only showing the bodies for a quick second your brain can’t fully comprehend what it just saw and starts making it look scarier than it actually was.
Also, the movie did a really good job at slowly revealing what was going on. Like, how Samara got into the room to kill her victims, what she looked like, etc.
They didn’t just blatantly throw it out there.
It was awesome.
*Fun Fact: That’s the same girl who voiced Lilo in, Lilo and Stitch.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go cuddle on the couch with my cat and watch some spooky, spoopy, movies and enjoy what’s left of my favorite month.