First, I would just like to apologize beforehand. This next topic has been on my mind for a few weeks and I’m pretty sure all my thoughts are jumbled and I’m not quite sure if it will translate from brain to blog.
So in the news this past year there was a lot of talk about feminism. Now, I’m not really going into all of that, but basically one aspect that I feel kinda stems from that topic is the notion of whether or not girls should start asking out guys on dates or if guys asking out the girls should just stay.
This question came up actually quite a bit over the holidays with my own family, because I’ve been crushing on a guy myself for a little bit, and I just have no idea where to go about any of it.
Now, I may initially have my own archaic view on the matter. The first sibling it got brought up with was one of my sisters. We were just discussing our boy ‘issues'(i used quotations because neither one of us are actually dating the boys we are talking about). To which my sister asked me point blank:
“Do you think that it should be the guys ask the girls out or other way around?”
and I’m not going to lie, I very quickly said that it should be the boy to ask the girl out still.
But here’s why:
First it was the romantic comedies telling me that and then as I’ve had more guy friends they’ve all kinda told me the same. So I’ve been basically told my whole romantic career that if the guy isn’t doing the asking then he’s not interested-case closed.
I feel like while the girls have been taught that guys will do anything they can to be with a girl; boys have been taught that the only thing on a woman’s mind is marriage and babies.
If a woman likes a guy
and she asks out said guy
then that OBVIOUSLY means that she IMMEDIATELY wants him to put a ring on her finger and a baby in her belly.
While growing up Mormon I may be more susceptible to that way of thinking, but I myself can simply be thinking like an average 22-year-old,
“Wow, I would really like to punch you in the face…with my mouth….on your mouth….for like….5 hours….”
I’m so terribly, terribly awkward.
Like, I can’t flirt worth a damn. My way of flirting is usually making fun of something you do in my bitchy, sarcastic tone. Which, in my head, I totally know that that’s not how to do it, but I can’t stop. It’s like a disease or something.
So after I responded to my sister’s question she then told me that the guys at her work had actually told her that she should ask the guy out. Which this isn’t the first time I’ve heard a guy suggesting that the girl do the asking-my brother has actually told me in the past that he likes it when a girl asks.
It was so long ago at this point when he told me this that I don’t really remember his reasoning behind it, but it’s probably mostly because my brother is really shy and about as awkward as me when it comes to liking someone. (sorry bro, but tell me I’m wrong.)
Just the other day, however, my brother-in-law told me that girls could/should most definitely do the asking.
“Especially now-a-days. It shows what you want and that you’re confident. And he might like you, guys are just so lazy. And if he doesn’t? So what? Catch ya later dude, good luck when your future wife gets fat.”
Granted it’s a lot easier said than done. It’s tough being vulnerable, man.