So I was just sitting on the couch and was reading a quiz or something about spirit animals and started wondering what my own spirit animal is.
Maybe a cat?
I mean, they’re independent, adorable, and assholes. So kinda what I can get on board with.
Or maybe a shark? I mean, they’re not the sharpest tools in the shed, but the fact that they’re just swimming around and only concerned with eating- heellloooo. Totes me.
So I decide to ask my roommates what they think my spirit animal is hoping they said something awesome or exciting.
The first animal my one roommate blurts out is,
“You’re a badger.”
Then the other roommates join in all in agreement.
Of course, I immediately yell out,
“What the hell? Why am I damn badger?”
To which another roommate replied,
“Well, they’re like, mean, but not. Like you!”
I sat there for a few moments, a little perturbed, but after this settled in for a moment or two, you know what? They’re right. I’m totally a badger.
Because just like the video says, “[honey] badger don’t give a shit.”
It’s true, at this point in my life, I can finally say that I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass what others think of me or if don’t like me.
Now, let me make it clear, I still have insecurities and so on just like everyone else, but at this point in my life, at least when it comes to my personality, I’m pretty content.
It’s taken me 23 years, but I’m doin’ me.
I’m a sarcastic, cynical, opinionated woman and I love it. I’m no longer crippled with worrying about if someone will take offense to what I’m saying or don’t like my abrasive nature.
*Important note: I never would purposely try to offend anyone.
The reason I’m getting into all this, besides the conversation about spirit animals, is because of where I am right now. In Mormon Town USA.
Sometimes, I have a hard time being here, because as I’ve talk about before, Mormons, especially Mormon women, have a sort of stereotype that we’re all blonde, quiet, and overly happy individuals.
Clearly, that’s not me.
And sometimes that’s hard. For awhile being here I would kinda walk on eggshells around people, because since I do curse or have a twisted sense of humor, I never know who I can be myself around and who I can’t. Or even as the Relief Society President(a church job) I’ve been told by my mom that I need to be ‘careful.’
Why? Why do I need to be careful?
I know where I stand with the church and where my testimony lies with the gospel, and just because I don’t act the way ‘Mormon Culture’ has deemed correct, doesn’t mean I need to pretend to be someone I’m not. If anything, with having this church job I’m showing the other women that yo, it’s okay that you’re not singing Disney songs all the time or that you have differing opinions from the ‘norm.’
You do you babe.
*When having this conversation with my mother-after I said my peace she said I was right and took back the “being careful” comment.
I’m 23-years-old, I’ll do what I want.