Category Archives: Dating

I Deleted my Tinder. Now What?

It’s been almost a year since I have first initially downloaded Tinder. For those of you who may not be familiar with Tinder, it’s a ‘dating’ app for mostly college aged individuals to maybe late 30’s. At least I hope anyone over the age of 32 isn’t on there because that’s kinda sad.

Now, when I say ‘dating’ app I’m using that term very loosely because let’s be real, it’s mostly used to have quick and easy hook-ups. Although, for the area I’m at it’s a little different because most students here aren’t looking for hooking up in the terms of actual boning, but for NCMO’s (non-committal make out. yes, I’m being serious…….)

At first, the app was all fun. I mean, Swiping right or left being able to pass judgement on people right from the comfort of my own bed? Talk about dream come true.

judge

Not to mention it was a nice boost of self-esteem when you make that right-swipe(AKA you thought they were attractive) and then getting that little notification that you matched with Mr. Hottie meaning he though you were cute too.

Then it got even better when they would message you. Personally, I got the most enjoyment out of how creative some of them were.

tinder

So for the last year I’ve been on this app, talking to numerous male specimen and hell, even went on a date with a couple.

While I always assured people that I wasn’t expecting to meet my future husband on this app, there was always a little part of me that was holding out hope that maybe, JUST maybe I would meet Mr. Right from that right swipe. I mean, I’ve had two friends that actually did meet their spouse/fiancee from this app.

However, as I got into this new semester at school I still had a little bit of fun giving my fingers a workout while swiping left or right on the new peeps a school, but then I just got bored. This just isn’t fun anymore. I was swiping left more often than right and the ones that I did swipe right for just weren’t even trying. Not to mention, let’s be real, actually meeting someone decent on Tinder that my family wouldn’t just rip to shreds….not likely.

So now here I am. I deleted the app and starting at square one.

 My question is now….what do I do now? How do I actually meet people? Sure a lot of you might be thinking I’m a moron, clearly just go out and put yourself out there, but that seriously isn’t that easy. Being vulnerable is the actual worst.

Not to mention, being a girl, if the moment I decide I might have a crush on someone I have to be sure not to come across as the crazy stalker chick. Women have this reputation to move too fast and well, seriously look crazy. So I have to calculate my moves JUUUSSSTTT right so that I’m trying to make it obvious I’m into him BUT not TOO strong to make it look like I’ve already got the wedding planned and our kid’s names picked out.

milaHow we think we’re coming across…..–>

 overly<–How you think we’re coming across…..

It’s tough. And then I see those girls who seem to just get into relationship after relationship and I’m just like, “HOW?” How do you do that? I mean it takes me a month to decide if I like a blouse or not let alone deciding if I actually want to try and make a certain fella my fella.

It’s times like these where I’m thinking I really wouldn’t mind an arranged married.

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No, I Don’t Want To Hangout

If you’re getting sick of me talking so much about being single then you should just exit out of this right now.

Alright, since you know what you’re getting in to I can begin…anne

So I am 23 and single. In the ‘real world’ that’s still super young and I’ve still got YEARS ahead of me before I should even consider getting married.

Well, I don’t live in the ‘real world’ I live in the Mormon World, and not only just live in the world, but the capitol, BYU-I in Rexburg, Idaho.

To give you an idea of how THIS world works at 23 I should have been married 10 years ago, have 18 kids, and maybe a couple grandkids on the way.

Perhaps I’m being a TAD over dramatic. But in reality being 23 and single in the Mormon world is like….

damn

I see the ages in the Mormon world being similar to those of dog years.

I may be 23 normally, but in Mormon years I’m about 65. I say this because I can tell my filter is failing on me and my ability to keep my opinions to myself is pretty nonexistent.

To be honest though, being single is kinda freaking awesome.

  1. I can literally do whatever I want whenever I want without having to check in with anyone.
  2. Any food of mine is ALL MINE.
  3. I get to spend money on stupid shit without worrying about bills or real responsibilities. I mean, I bought myself $120 penguin because I could.

waddles

So really, why would I want to get married right now?

One thing that blows about being single is having to date.

Dating is the actual worst.

Although, how would I really know if dating is good or bad because I’ve never been on a date.

Let me explain, I’ve gone out with boys and had a boyfriend or two,

BUT I’VE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE.

(Yes, that is a 10 hour video of “mmm whatcha say.”)

You wanna know why? Because dating is pretty much not a thing anymore. Nope, instead we just ‘hang out.’

That’s right, I’ve been asked to ‘hang out’ quite a bit, have I ever been asked on a ‘date’?

Negative.

Let me tell you something.

I DON’T WANT TO HANGOUT.

I hangout with my friends, my family, or hell, if we’ve been in a relationship for a while , then I hangout with my boyfriend.

(Although let it be noted that dating while in a relationship/marriage is still important)

But if you find me attractive and I find you attractive I want to do more than hangout.

I genuinely do not understand why dating has turned into such a hot mess. Beside the whole “hangout’ debacle, there’s the way we treat each other.

No one is straight forward, no one just puts themselves out there. Instead we play games and try to be vague as possible until we know FOR SURE that the other person likes us. Don’t get me wrong, being vulnerable is hard. I’m not perfect at it either, but damn.

Especially the playing games.

I’m not good at playing games.

Except Disney Scene it. I’m bomb at that.

ay

But seriously, the games have got to stop.

It should not be this difficult. If you like someone-tell them, ask them on a date. Literally the worst that could happen is they say no.

And guess what? If they say no, take the money you would’ve spent on the date and…

treat

*this goes for you too, girls. ain’t no law that says the boys have to do the asking.*

You’re Only Someone When Somebody Loves You

I’ve pretty much perfected the art of being single.

My ability to disrobe my “social outing” clothes for my sweatpants in 0.15 seconds is one a superhero would admire, Netflix and Chill for me includes my bed and a bowl of Ben&Jerry’s, and my rants about anything to do with Nicolas Sparks is something almost Shakespearean.

I pride myself on not needing a man and love being able to go out when I want, with whoever I want, and spend however much I want on myself.

dontneedaman

With that being said, I can’t deny that I do find myself, on occasion, actually wanting to find my own Robb Stark and being one half of an annoyingly happy couple.

Which is why(or at least partly why) I found myself coming to BYU-I. I figured, hey, I’m 23-years-old, my eggs are surely drying up in the Mormon world, I need to try to step up my dating game.

As mentioned in previous posts, I suck at dating, but that’s not what this particular post is about.

No, instead this post is about the ridiculous customs that I’ve been experiencing since I’ve been here.

One-it’s basically shoved down my throat that I need to date, date, date while I’m here. Like, my sole purpose is only to get married and pop out babies. Don’t get me wrong, I want to get married and I want kids, but I actually WANT to work. I don’t understand this mindset where it’s only the guy who needs to worry about his education, but the woman just needs to worry about doing what she can to attract a man. Beyonce would not approve of this.

flawless

Two- dating here, and I imagine other places as well, is just a nightmare. I don’t want you to ask me to ‘hangout.’ I want you to ask me out on a date. DATE. I look back at pictures from the 1950’s and seeing their little dates they went on and it just looks so sweet and innocent. Nowadays it’s just a constant game for how quick can I get you back to your apartment so we can ‘Netflix ‘N Chill.’

No.

  1. If we’re watching a movie, we’re actually WATCHING the movie. Especially if it’s one I haven’t seen before.
  2. I am worth more than a quick makeout on the couch.

Three- Probably the biggest issue I have here, and on the completely opposite spectrum of everything I’ve just talked about, the couples who go on two dates and think, “hey, we should get married.”

I’m not even being over-dramatic here. This really happens. Couples are together for maybe a month and think, ‘ah yes, I clearly love you. Time to go to the temple.’

WHAT?

HOW? HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY THINK YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU’VE JUST MET?

Oh wait, you don’t. Your hormones are just going crazy and your desire to bone is blocking any rational way of thinking.

It’s just absolutely ludicrous the idea of thinking the person you JUST met being ‘the one.’ You haven’t had a real fight, you haven’t met their families, you’ve never seen them in truly stressful situations, you know nothing.

nothing

Not to mention, you’re still in that ‘honeymoon’ stage. The stage where they literally can’t do anything wrong and they’re perfect. Guess what? That part fades and when true colors come out there is a real possibility that you won’t like the person they really are.

Not to mention, from the Mormon perspective, getting married is more than being with that person until we die, it’s about being with that person forever, all eternity. I don’t think a lot of people take that into account. You’re going to seriously be with that other person from now until forever, you need to make sure that that’s someone you REALLY want to be with and not just someone you want to wrestle around in the sheets with.

Maybe it’s just the cynical in me. I’ve never once been accused of having a ‘mushy’ side to me. Hell, my idea of flirting is by dazzling a man with my sarcastic wit and talking about my favorite pizza rather than complimenting their appearance or  playfully touching their arm.

anchor

Don’t get me wrong, I too have felt the overwhelming need to get married while being here too. It’s constantly shoved down our throats that we need to get married and procreate ASAP.

I really just blame that on the environment I’m in.

And honestly, it’s just exhausting. This idea that your whole self-worth is wrapped up in your ability to snag yourself a spouse is just…. It’s awful.

Real talk-a lot of us won’t get married. Whether it be because we don’t find our other half or who knows, but some of us will just be single.

And that’s okay.Honestly, I joke about me dying alone, but I seriously think that’s true though. And while I do want to get married and have kids, I also know that if that doesn’t happen for me, that that’s okay. That won’t diminish my worth, it won’t mean I’m not as temple worthy as the married woman next to me, and it certainly won’t mean that I’m a nobody.

Contrary to popular (Mormon) belief, being single isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you.

Like not being able to eat pizza anymore. That would be the worst.

pizza

Struggle Bus Party of One

It’s no secret, dating is not my forte.

Or really anything to do in the romantic department; flirting, acting like a functional adult- it’s just not my thing.

I mean, I can barely ask my waiter for extra ranch, how am I supposed to talk to someone I actually find attractive?

 zooey

Even with all these talents I lack, I’m still not totally losing hope, but damn. Dating is hard.

As I’ve stated in many posts before, I’m Mormon and I go to Brigham Young University-Idaho. And as I’ve also said before, I transferred to this school after doing two years at an instate school. One of the main reasons, not the ONLY reason, that I decided to transfer here is because I figured my luck in finding someone to date would be easier.

I was very wrong.

michael

See, while being here I’ve discovered something; I am not a typical Mormon.

I guess I should have already known this since every time I even tell someone that I’ve just met that I am Mormon the first thing out of their mouths is typically, “What? Seriously? I never would have guessed that.”

Personally, I always took that as a compliment.

happy

Let me explain further what I mean when I say I’m not a typical Mormon:

To start out, I want to explain that I have a very firm and real testimony of the gospel. While I did go through my own rebellious and questioning phase while in my teens, I have found for myself that I truly love and know this gospel to be true.

However, I don’t have a stick up my ass.

Now let me make it perfectly clear that not all Mormons are stiff. I’m not saying that at all, but talking about stereotypes of not only Mormons, but any hardcore religious individuals.

A not-so-great association that religious persons have is that they are closed-minded and judgmental. Once again, I’m talking generalizing and stereotypes.

I will admit though, it’s pretty legit.

I’ve had many issues in this department; especially when I was younger and just trying to figure things out on my own.

As I’ve gotten older though, my ability to not give a rat’s ass what others think has been perfected.

rhett

So I watch my R rated movies, have a slight cursing problem(sorry mom), my inability to do anything crafty is very real, in no way musically inclined, delightfully sarcastic, and not afraid to speak my mind.

This is not the way of the typical Mormon woman.

The dream Mormon woman(seems to be) a girl with blonde hair, who can masterfully whip out any Primary(Children’s Sunday School) song on piano at the drop of a hat, and who is constantly a ray of sunshine who would never dream of watching anything other than Disney.

This is all literally the exact opposite of my entire personality.

Here’s the main problem with the dating scene here. I’m right in the middle of the two extremes: as in either the guys are Peter Priesthoods(which means they want that typical Mormon girl as described above) or they’re at the total opposite end of the spectrum and they are currently going through their own phase and want to party, sleep around, and so on.(Yes, there are those type of people here.)

bye

It’s hard, man. Like, I am a temple worthy woman, and the struggle is so real.

So not only do I already have issues in the dating department, but the fact that this has just been piled right on is not helping anything.

At least I’ve still got my cats.

 single2

So What I’m Really Trying to Ask is…

First, I would just like to apologize beforehand. This next topic has been on my mind for a few weeks and I’m pretty sure all my thoughts are jumbled and I’m not quite sure if it will translate from brain to blog.

So in the news this past year there was a lot of talk about feminism. Now, I’m not really going into all of that, but basically one aspect that I feel kinda stems from that topic is the notion of whether or not girls should start asking out guys on dates or if guys asking out the girls should just stay.

This question came up actually quite a bit over the holidays with my own family, because I’ve been crushing on a guy myself for a little bit, and I just have no idea where to go about any of it.

Now, I may initially have my own archaic view on the matter. The first sibling it got brought up with was one of my sisters. We were just discussing our boy ‘issues'(i used quotations because neither one of us are actually dating the boys we are talking about). To which my sister asked me point blank:

“Do you think that it should be the guys ask the girls out or other way around?”

and I’m not going to lie, I very quickly said that it should be the boy to ask the girl out still.

But here’s why:

1.

notin

First it was the romantic comedies telling me that and then as I’ve had more guy friends they’ve all kinda told me the same. So I’ve been basically told my whole romantic career that if the guy isn’t doing the asking then he’s not interested-case closed.

2.

I feel like while the girls have been taught that guys will do anything they can to be with a girl; boys have been taught that the only thing on a woman’s mind is marriage and babies.

ergo:

If a woman likes a guy

and she asks out said guy

then that OBVIOUSLY means that she IMMEDIATELY wants him to put a ring on her finger and a baby in her belly.

First off,

No.

While growing up Mormon I may be more susceptible to that way of thinking, but I myself can simply be thinking like an average 22-year-old,
“Wow, I would really like to punch you in the face…with my mouth….on your mouth….for like….5 hours….”

3.

flirting

I’m so terribly, terribly awkward.

Like, I can’t flirt worth a damn. My way of flirting is usually making fun of something you do in my bitchy, sarcastic tone. Which, in my head, I totally know that that’s not how to do it, but I can’t stop. It’s like a disease or something.

So after I responded to my sister’s question she then told me that the guys at her work had actually told her that she should ask the guy out. Which this isn’t the first time I’ve heard a guy suggesting that the girl do the asking-my brother has actually told me in the past that he likes it when a girl asks.

It was so long ago at this point when he told me this that I don’t really remember his reasoning behind it, but it’s probably mostly because my brother is really shy and about as awkward as me when it comes to liking someone. (sorry bro, but tell me I’m wrong.)

kanye

Just the other day, however, my brother-in-law told me that girls could/should most definitely do the asking.
“Especially now-a-days. It shows what you want and that you’re confident. And he might like you, guys are just so lazy. And if he doesn’t? So what? Catch ya later dude, good luck when your future wife gets fat.”

Granted it’s a lot easier said than done. It’s tough being vulnerable, man.

hopeless

I Bet Beyonce Never had to Deal with This.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not one to beat around the bush. So, I’m just going right into it- social media has ruined everything about dating.

And anyone who knows me also knows that I’m as single as it gets.

single

Now, I obviously can’t blame social media 100% for my singleness.

No, I can thank the crippling anxiety and awkwardness for the most part on my epic singleness.

I mean, cheese and rice, I can barely ask my waiter for extra ranch let alone try to talk to a man I visually enjoy.

I digress.

anyway

But social media is the absolute worst. And clearly I’m also a huge hypocrite because I use it all the time.

All. The. Time.

At this point its a double-edged sword, because if you don’t use Facebook, twitter, texting(Just so we’re all clear, I’m counting texting in this), then how do I keep in contact with people?

Plus, I ain’t gunna lie, I get a nice validation of my existence when people like my statuses. I already think I’m funny, I’m just making sure all of you understand and appreciate how hilarious I am.

duh

 Everything changes though when a crush gets involved.

It just turns into a game.

Constant,

“Oh, I can’t be the first one to text, I don’t want to look desperate”

or

“They have to ‘friend’ me first, because I don’t want to look crazy”

Whatever.

You know, I’d like to think I’m pretty chill when it comes to being a female. I don’t THINK I get jealous too easily, or that I’m terribly catty.(But maybe I’m just thinking highly of myself)

I WILL admit, however, I read WAY into things.

shrug

I’m a very visual person, so if I can’t actually see your body language or see the expressions on your face then when I’m reading that text message or notice that you ‘liked’ one of my pictures on instagram, I have nooooo idea how to perceive this.

Let me make it clear, I don’t do this with EVERYONE, I’m not TOTALLY crazy, just when it comes to those that I either

A) like

or

B) have some sort of history with

 With the person I like, I mean, I’ve clearly flirted with you(or at least attempted…) so how am I supposed to know if you’ve picked up on the fact that I like you so you’re “flirting” with me via internet,

OR

I’m being friend-zoned(that’s def happened a number of times)

OR

You’re just being, you know, a guy and not thinking anything about it(<– that’s most likely the winner)

THEN with the guy I have history with- I mean, we don’t talk that much anymore, if at all, and then all of a sudden you’re ‘liking’ random selfies or commenting on random statuses? What the heck?

Are you just trying to be friends again?

OR

Is there some sort of nostalgia happening?

OR

You’re just being, you know, a guy and not thinking anything about it(<– that’s most likely the winner)

 BUT HOW DO I KNOW FOR SURE??? I CAN’T READ YOUR MIND YOU KNOW.

sign

But nothing drives me more banana sandwich than when texting or messaging gets involved.

Like I stated before, it’s a constant battle of “I cant text/message first, because I can’t look desperate”

or

“Oh I need to wait x-amount of time to text back so they don’t think I was just sitting by the phone/computer”

WHY IS THAT EVEN OPTION. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A WORRY OF LOOKING DESPERATE?

Sorry, I thought you were funny/cute/awesome and wanted to talk to you a little more.

Yo, you’re just talking at that point. IT’S NOT A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.

annoy

It’s even worse when its a situation where you can see that they’ve ‘read’ or ‘seen’ the message.
Like, talk about slap in the face.

GAH, JUST TALK TO ME. If only just to, if you have picked up on the fact that I like you, somehow tell me that you’re not interested.

And by ‘tell me’, I mean lie to me and just say you have a girlfriend or something. No need to be mean.

thumb

OH MY GOSH- then there’s the “I have to look unavailable; AKA: make them jealous” aspect of social media.

Here, let me post some pictures with other guys just to make sure he doesn’t think he’s the only guy on my radar

OR

let me talk about how I’m talking about to a bunch of other guys to make me look like I’m not available

OR

I’m going to go out with my girlfriends to make it look like I’m off having a good time and not just sitting at home waiting for you to contact me.

Stupid.

Why, just WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THAT. or at least THINK we have to do that?

I’ll be honest and say I don’t understand guys at all(I believe them to be so simple that they’re complicated) but do they do this to us females too? If so, I don’t don’t love seeing crap like that if you’re trying to make me jealous. Because I wouldn’t even say I get jealous- it’s more I just already admit defeat and try to move on. It does not spur me in the direction of fighting for your attention.

More like spurs me in the direction of the nearest animal shelter to get myself another cat.

hades

Then there’s the actual ‘dating’ sites, or apps, like Tinder.

I had Tinder for a hot second where I very quickly found out that this just wasn’t my bag.

But I have friends, co-workers, and internet sites where I’ve seen/heard about the disasters that happen. Whether from just the conversations that are being had(basically the guys just asking for nudes) or even people meeting up with the guy and seeing how much of a creep he is, no thank you.

tinder

what?

Can someone please explain to me why it’s OK to ask a girl you don’t know for nudes? Or say sexually explicit things in general . Seriously, explain to me the logic behind that. I legitimately want to know. Is that supposed to entice me? You really think that’s going to help get the ball rolling?

cant

Why can’t people just be straight-up anymore? There is so much manipulating, or planning, or whatever going on and it’s exhausting. If movies have taught me anything, it’s that dating was a whole lot simpler before social media got involved.

I just give up. I’m not cut out for this.

quit


All the Single Ladies

Ladies, are you sick of being single? Are you ready to mingle? Then fear not- I’m here to give you a few tips on how to catch the man of your dreams and in no time at all!

It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3 and no need to whip up the milkshakes, because I promise that AAALLLL the boys will be in your yard.

But first, you have to go find the lucky guy you’re going to entrap with your womanly wiles, so…

1. Always travel in a pack with your home girls.

Nothing is less intimidating for a guy than when you’re with a HUGE group of other females. I mean, when he sees you with a GIANT entourage of you and your 60 closest friends not only is he going to think you’re super popular, but also super safe and responsible(BUDDY SYSTEM!), so he’s immediately going to think marriage and mother material.

2. You should dress like a high price escort.

I mean, how else are you going to get a man’s attention without showing off all the goods?

Nothing says “I’m ready for a serious commitment” than looking like you could have been one of the 13 women on Tiger Wood’s arm.

And what really tops this look off is when you wear 5-inch stiletto pumps that you can’t walk in. Nothing sexier than embodying Bambi’s first steps.

3. Flirt with your eyes.

The best way to show a guy you’re interested in him is to awkwardly glance up at him about 20 times before he will finally come over and talk to you. You’re obviously supposed to be playing-hard-to-get so going right up and talking to him would be too forward and save too much time to actually do it. So it’s always best to catch his attention just by staring at him for moments at a time where he will then either ask for your number or give you a number for the nearest mental hospital

.

Alright, so now you’ve lured a man in. So how are you going to take the next few dates to the NEXT level to get you to that perfect relationship?

1. Just keep talking.

Men LOVE it when women never stop talking. ESPECIALLY when the girl is just talking about herself. It shows that she’s super confident in who she is and not at all insecure. Never ask the men any real questions, because, trust me, they just love the sound of your voice and could listen to it forever. And I think we all know that men are just such great listeners when they’re really interested in something- so if you start noticing their eyes glaze over, that’s just them really analyzing and taking-in everything you’re saying.

2. Let him know how important family is.

You should definitely tell him how your 5-year plan includes getting married, having 6 kids, and moving into a house right next to your parents. It’ll show him what’s really important in your life and not at all freak him out. Guys love feeling rushed into a commitment.

3. Talk about your exes.

Men LOVE hearing about past relationships. Especially when you’re making comparisons. It’s a way to help boost your new interest’s feelings and in no way makes you look like you’re still hung-up on a past flame. So if you ever feel a lull happening in the conversation just bring up how you and your ex never had that problem. It’s sure to set the mood for the rest of the evening.

 You’re now in the committed relationship your heart has be desiring, now how do you keep your man by your side for the rest of your life?

1. Cry. All. The. Time.

Whether it be because you just watched Titanic or just witnessed the Sarah McLachlan commercial, nothing will make your man feel more like a super hero than swooping in to comfort you. Bigger the tears- the better.

2. Always talk about your period.

The cravings, the cramps, the mood swings, the nights of sleeping in the fetal position- a man will never know the complete joy of this womanly trait, so they just want to be let in on the experience. They want to be there FOR YOU. He wants to be sitting right next to you holding the heating pad on your uterus and make his woman feel good again. So don’t deprive him of this opportunity, let him be apart of your monthly Shark Week.

3. Always show him your true feelings.

There is no trait sexier to a man than seeing his woman being completely and irrationally jealous. When he catches you snooping through his phone or stalking his Twitter feed, nothing sends his heart fluttering more. It shows you care and that you don’t want to lose him. Never mind the complete and utter trust that is shining through in the relationship. So next time you see him talking to your female waitress, it’s best to start yelling at him for “checking her out”(I.e. giving her his order) just to show him and everyone around you at the restaurant how much you truly love your man. 

*BONUS TIP*BONUS TIP*BONUS TIP*

Be sure to let him know how Taylor Swift is your absolute idol and you worship the ground she walks on. She is such an amazing young woman for young girls to look up to, how could this possibly backfire?

(Author’s Note: If you couldn’t tell that this post was 100% sarcastic then you make me sad.)

Meet My Boyfriend, Netflix

Ever since we were little girls we have always dreamt of our Prince Charming.

When we were five they were the cartoon cuties of Disney

(who could resist that street rat?)

Then in our pre-pubescent youth the Ramen Noodle haired Justin Timberlake was our main squeeze

And now that we’re mature young adults it’s all about Ryan Gosling

(If you listen closely you can hear the sound of millions of ovaries exploding)

But ladies, let’s not kid ourselves- Ryan Gosling is never going to write you letters everyday for a year and then build you your dream house, and you won’t grow old together and die in a hospital at the same time.(wait….why is The Notebook considered romantic again…?) Sorry if this is news to you- there’s a support group that meets every week; I’ll text you details later.

So what’s the next best thing? Nope, it’s not that ‘oh, I bet if I just take one more shot of Tequila he’d be cute,’ guy you’re looking at at the bar…..

 it’s NETFLIX.

Not quite sure if I’m crazy or not? Well, let’s just see, shall we?

1. Netflix doesn’t judge, Netflix understands:

 Ever just have one of those days where you wake-up and say to yourself, “ya, I’m not taking a shower today and I’ll just avoid mirrors at all cost and stay in my bed all day.” Oh, you haven’t? LIAR.

Well, you know what you sorry excuse for a female? IT’S OK TO BE GROSS AND LAY IN BED ALL DAY! Netflix will be right with you in your bed cuddling it out and he will still love you.

TRUE ROMANCE.

2. Netty doesn’t get jealous:

Feeling a little frisky? Want to try to spice things up in the bedroom? Well, you just loosen those sweatpants sweetie and bring in your boys on the side- ya, you know who I’m talking about… BEN & JERRY. I mean, do I even need to go on? It doesn’t get much better than this.

3. Netlflix knows juuussttt what you like:

Picture it: You’ve recently discovered the most AMAZING television show, but *GASP* it only has 2 seasons and (if you’re anything like me) you finished the entire series in one sitting. Oh no! What’s a girl to do? BUT WAIT- NETFLIX TO THE RESCUE.

 “So I see you liked that show on puppies you just watched, so watch AAAAALLLL the different shows on puppies!”

Wow Netflix, you know me so well! What would I ever do without you!?

BOOM- Soulmates

4. He’s super sensitive to your time of the month:

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am truly a heaping mess when I’m PMSing.

Once, I cried during a Wal-Mart commercial.

I’m not kidding.

And you know what? Sometimes a good cry is all you need when it feels like The Third Reich has set up base camp in your uterus. I feel that the best go-to section for needing to release is the ‘Drama’ section. Or as I like to call it, “The Race to See how Quickly You can get Depression.”

And if you’re feeling that you REALLY need a good cry, nothing does it better than Disney’s Fox & the Hound.

(If you don’t cry during this movie there’s a 99.9% chance that you’re Satan.)

Do you want to know the absolute BEST thing about Netflix?

5. Netflix doesn’t talk:

I mean, I don’t even think I need to divulge as to why this is the best aspect.

No arguments- because GUESS WHAT, you’re always right.

No stupid jokes that make you question their intellect.

No “make me a sammich”(or any other kitchen/food) reference.

The list could just go on.

 I will say, it’s been 6 months and I haven’t been happier. I think he’s the one.